Category Archives: George R.R. Martin

A Creamy Soup of Mushrooms and Buttered Snails

The first dish was a creamy soup of mushrooms and buttered snails, served in gilded bowls.

From A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

I always feel like it’s cheating to use GRRM for inspiration, because it requires approximately ten seconds of randomly opening one of his books and skimming no more than a paragraph. But here we are, so whatever.

I always have enjoyed escargot, and have occasionally attempted to include these tasty snails in a great number of dishes they may not usually appear in. Escargot/alfredo was a crowd pleaser. Escargot/garlic bread (or as I like to call it “escarlic bread”) was not a crowd pleaser, but remains one of my favourite drunk snacks.

I have yet to determine if A Creamy Soup of Mushrooms and Buttered Snails is a crowd pleaser, because as of yet, no crowd except me has been brave enough to eat it. All my friends are apparently babies about food. It is a ME  pleaser though. The escargot add their vaguely exotic seafoody deliciousness to a lovely creamy broth, and their velvety soft deliciousness to your face.

What you need!

One medium sized onion, chopped

Three cloves of garlic, chopped

About a cup of cooked cauliflower

Not very many mushrooms, chopped very small, because mushrooms are gross (if you like mushrooms I suppose you can add more). Another option is no mushrooms, because reasons (but you have to call it A Creamy Soup of Only Buttered Snails if you go for this option).

1/3 cup of butter

A whole lot of fresh basil, chopped

4 cups of beef broth OR chicken broth

½ cup milk OR cream

About half a cup of something alcoholic (white wine if you are using chicken stock, dark beer if you are using beef stock)

About a cup of grated cheddar cheese

One cup of escargot (approx 2 cans)

Salt and pepper to taste

What to Do!

Melt the butter in a medium saucepan, and sautee the onions and garlic until the onion is almost clear. Add the basil and half of the mushrooms, and sautee for some more time until the onions are done.

Add the soup stock, beer/wine and cauliflower, bring to a boil. Drink the rest of the beer/wine because obviously. Reduce to a simmer. When soup is simmering, add cheddar cheese and milk and simmer some more until the cheese is melted.

Remove from heat and blend the soup in your blender or with a submersible blender. When it is creamy enough, put it back on the stove and add the remaining mushrooms and the escargot. Allow to simmer until the soup has reduced slightly. The more you let it reduce the creamier (and snailier) it will taste. This is the time when you can add your salt and pepper to taste as well.

Serve hot, or else it will get a weird skin on top of it (from the cheese). Serves about four I think, except that nobody wants to try it, so technically it has only served me four times.

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Filed under George R.R. Martin, Soups and Salads

Honeyed Chicken a la Winterfell

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Wish I could take ALL of the credit for this recipe, but that would be dishonest and lying and infringement. While I have tweaked the recipe ever so slightly, proper credit should go to the lovely ladies at the Inn at the Crossroads, Chelsea Monroe-Cassel and Sariann Lehrer. They have, by the way, put out an amaze-balls actual cookbook (those paper things that you read that are not the internet in case you forgot) called a Feast of Ice and Fire, which you should buy because it is beautiful, official, endorsed and introduced by the Fastest Writer in the Whole Entire Universe himself (yet another thing he has written that is not more books), and also because it looks great on your cookbook-shelf beside the Star Trek official cookbook. You can find their honeyed chicken recipe here http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/2011/04/06/honeyed-chicken/

I will be the first to admit that my version of this recipe is a little bit less authentic-seeming than theirs. I will also be the first to assert that mine is delicious and I am willing to suspend my disbelief. As for my changes, first off… roasted carrots with the chicken makes for delicious roasted carrots in honey sauce, which is an instant side dish and is phenomenal. Secondly, chickens roasted with nothing inside them are not nearly as delicious as chickens roasted with stab-wounded lemons stuffed in their carcass. Thirdly, raisins suck.

I also always make two, because they are that delicious.

What You Need!

2 chickens for roasting (approx 6 pounds each)

A bunch of carrots, chopped haphazardly (leave the skins on… but you can wash them if you want)

2 lemons

¼ cup unsalted butter, melted

Salt

1 ¾ cups apple cider vinegar

¼ cup red wine vinegar

1 ½ cup honey

A dash of fresh mint

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 cup dried cranberries cherries and blueberries mix (‘Irresistibles’ brand makes bags of this called ‘berry medley… I get it from Food Basics for like 4 dollars) OR if you cant find that shit

½  cup dried cranberries

¼ cup dried cherries

¼ cup dried blueberries

Preheat your oven to 450

Put the vinegar and honey together in a saucepan, and let it sit for a bit… the vinegar will break the honey down which I have found is best before putting it on the stove.

Massage the chickens with salt and the melted butter to make them crispy and fabulous. With a sharp knife, stab the lemons within an inch of their lives, and stuff them in the carcass. If the chickens are too small to fit a whole lemon inside them (please note how restrained I am, not making any obvious and tasteless joke here) you can cut the lemon in half, but its best to try and fit the whole thing in (again with the restraint).

Put the chickens in separate roasting pans with their contingent of carrots surrounding them, and cook for about an hour and 20 minutes. You can tell they are done if you stab the leg and the juice runs clear. Check in on them every 20 minutes or so, basting them with their juices to ensure they are not drying out.

While your chickens are roasting, whisk together the now broken down honey and vinegar, heat up on low, and add the rest of the things. You want to simmer this sauce on low for about half an hour, until the fruit plumps up, and the sauce has reduced to half its original volume. This will be totally delicious, and has the added bonus of stinking up your entire house like … boiled vinegar. In light of this, if you are serving honeyed chicken as a part of a dinner party or something, I would recommend making the sauce the day before, or doing it somewhere else.

When the chickens and carrots are done, pour the sauce over them. The cookbook version of this says to set some aside to serve as gravy, but I personally didn’t do that because I wanted to thoroughly drench the chickens and carrots.

People will write songs about you if you serve this to them.

Also! Here is an awesome recipe for soup made with the leftovers : https://food4thoughtand4urface.wordpress.com/2012/10/22/what-to-do-with-the-leftovers/

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October 22, 2012 · 7:06 pm